Consciousness is a Congenital Hallucination.

 humans are alive.




Phoebe Jaspe
this is my art. views. film. photography. mbti & psychology rants, surrealism, everything.

Common man syndrome 

SargeMaximus: True that, how do you walk the fine line between making the message you have inside, and make it understandable by the ‘common man’ though? Obviously it has to be universal, but aren’t there enough universal themes of “experience life” anyhow? I know that I personally like personal art, but only if it speaks to me, you know? Makes me wonder if art is doomed to always appeal to the masses.

Reply:
The common man is already doomed from the start because he chose to be ‘common’. It is these years that people repress their inner desires that they suffer the ‘common man’ syndrome in which there is no way turning back.

I suppose it’s fun to create films exploiting ‘the common man’ with their monoculture, they obey and they suffer. Everyone influences everyone. It is a mental illness that these ‘common man’ referred to MBTi as the ESXX, they belong ultimately to the masses. As Aldous Huxley says:

[QUOTE]In Freudian psychology, talking things out is one of the ways we resolve our problems. By talking to a shrink, or getting together with one of our buddies and pounding back some pints and letting everything out is a form of therapy. In philosophy, this has always been one of the ways in which we attempt to answer the pressing questions. From the Socratic dialogues to the daily musings of a philosophy class, we get have always got together so that the unreflected things become reflected.In the postmodern, mass-telecommunication culture, the goal is the opposite. All our individual thoughts and parts are to become the general property of the masses.

The internet in it’s many permutations (with most recent Facebook as the most obvious and significant example) is most guilty of accomplishing this. Think about the Freudian idea of digging into our deepest, darkest and most private and unpleasant past memories in order to analyze and solve a problem we have - to help us know ourselves. Modern communication takes these memories from that clear area of self-examination and throws them across the city for all to see. We have lost our privacy - we are a culture of needing to know, but for all the wrong reasons…We’re voyeuristic, not looking for answers to life’s eternal questions.

So, we’ve gone from an introspective culture of examining and learning from traditions, to one which aims to forget the past by overloading us with information and distorting what is right and wrong. It’s the goal of mass culture to bury the transgressions of the past. The parts that we can understand and reflect on are so small - the trillions of tons of paper and websites out there - most of them have no meaning to everyone….the goal of mass culture is to make sure the narratives of our lives fit somewhere in those documents….

We’ve become so monocultural - through television, internet and other forms of media, that are our memories even our memories? The late philosophy professor, Rick Roderick gives some interesting examples; just like Arnold Schwarzenegger in Total Recall, who goes to a company that sells him memories, so have we been indoctrinated with ideas, thoughts, and experiences just by going about our daily lives. It’s like sitting in a cafe and hearing a cover of a Doors song that we lost our virginity to done as muzak — taking very personal memories and diluting them, distorting them and distributing them to the masses……Now we don’t even listen anymore….we tune out.

So what is culture anymore? It used to be things we created as opposed to nature….well now, it’s everything and it’s everywhere. With virtual reality, with world theme parks, with communication online, youtube, etc….we don’t even have to leave our homes to experience the world. 
Thinking this way really makes me want to go back and live in the 1930s. To have modern technology and the ability to travel the world with ease - but without the world spoiled by the hyper information age. I want to find those parts of the world still unexplored, and not posted all over my Facebook news feed.[/QUOTE]



Similar to Freud’s iceberg theory, which one do you wish to exploit? Mainstream media mainly operate on the conscious level, if you see Haneke (INTP) films, he operates on the unconscious level.

Film making is quite sad if you think about it this way, the world is already too messed up to an extent we need to capture its violence and obscenity for people to see, it’s truly an art form if you think about it this way. 

I think I’ll just make films about things I want to make and see what people get from it, and possibly learn from them, in turn, I learn more things about myself.

What if money were no object by Alan Watts:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2L_cGjQSR80

Psychonauts & MBTI 

I’m an ENFp. One of the reasons why I think INFJ/INTJ & ENFP/ENTPs deserve the title of ‘The psychonaut’ is because our dominant cognitive functions are Introverted Intuition (Ni for INXJs) and Extraverted Intuition (Ne for ENxPs). It is the only two functions that seek patterns across the universe. We see things as a cosmic whole and everything esoteric.

Coinsidently enough, Extraverted iNtuition (Ne) and Introverted iNtuition (Ni) are represented as black/white triangles in socionics.

ENFP: IEE

The Black & white triangles from above represents Ne/Ni in the Jungian cognitive functions. More so, MBTI types with their auxilliary functions of Ne and Ni, could be INTP, INFP, INFJ, ENTJ, ENFJ. (The secondary psychonauts)

So if you have Ne or Ni as a dominant function, there’s a high possible chance you would be into Psychonautics. Exploration of the mind and from within and without. E.g: Aleister Crowley is an ENTP and Aldous Huxley is an ENFP.

I know MBTI & socionics are different but similar… but I’m just combining the theories, juggling them around to see if I find something.

Conclusion:

MBTI: The Dominant Psychonauts are ENxPs and INxJs.

Socionics: The Dominant Psychonauts are ENxPs and INxPs.

Long live the psychonauts.

25 Thought Provoking Questions: ENFP answers 

1. What is it like to wake up every morning and pretend that you aren’t dying?
Lol. I’d like to think I’m alive and they’re inventing chips that regenerate dead cells that old people have. Hopefully in my lifetime, I wouldn’t want a chip inside my brain if it’s not genuine though, won’t want to end up as a slave.

2. Do you believe in the death penalty? What if someone murdered your mother in cold blood? What if someone murdered a stranger’s mother, but saved your life the month before?
Well, my mother is a lovely lady and people won’t murder her… she’s too much of a coward to find herself in danger anyway.
Well the stranger’s mother is not really my problem, but it’s up to the stranger’s decision to give a death penalty to that murderer…
It’s not my responsibility for other people’s consequences… Plus, what does he/she expect me to do? Hmm, this is confusing. He saved my life but he killed someone’s mother… wtf?

3. If you had a friend who spoke to you in the same way that you sometimes speak to yourself, how long would you allow that person to be your friend?
I’d probably get pretty annoyed and tell him/her to stop because they’re cramping up my style. I’ll possibly suggest some people they could imitate and diverge them into other influences. Maybe allow them approximately one month to change their ways. If they don’t, I might flee.

4. Would you rather be rich and paralyzed from the waist down or poor and able bodied?
Poor and able bodied. I could always work myself up again.

5. What’s the most expensive gift you have ever received? Is it the best gift you have ever received?
1) A Louis Vuitton bag special edition: Monogram Rose Neverfull, Louis Vuitton
2) A Bvagari bracelet that I got for Xmas 2010 and lost it on new years… T__T

Hmm… I guess I really loved that bracelet! D: But the best gift was dinner on a rooftop on valentines day. So dreamy. (:

6. When was the last time you lied? Is it possible to lie without saying anything at all?
I don’t remember but I rarely lie. And yes.

7. Stealing is immoral, right? But what if stealing was the only way to feed a starving child?
It’s still wrong… But I stole loads of little things when I was younger, I have to admit. Just for the adrenaline. Like these pair of pink dice that was in this broken monopoly box about a few months back, my INTx SO was really angry and demanded me to put it back. That was kinda funny but… no one is ever going to buy the game anyway.

8. If I gave you $20, what percentage would you – really – save? If I gave you $200,000, what percentage would you save? Should there be a difference?
I’d save 50%. Hmmm… Probably 60-70% for the 200k.

9. If someone could tell you the exact day and time that you are going to die, would you want them to tell you?
Maybe, if they wanted to. Or that I could prevent it from happening! :D

10. If you found out you were going to die today, would you have any regrets? Would you be happy with the way you spent the last 24 hours of your life?
No regrets. Live life like a flying eagle with no mercy. I would really love to see the apocalypse … If things are meant to happen, then I accept this pre-determined life.

11. What’s your single greatest moment of personal failure? Looking back on it now, did it make you weaker or stronger? What did you learn?
I guess when I was younger, I was obsessed with my looks because people thought I was somewhat unnattractive. This was when I was 11-12… well, everyone looked ugly then but I was super vain and narcissistic. I’ve just learned over the years that I need to let myself go, but I still like to impress myself with how I look.
Like when I was 8, my mum cut my hair too short and I threw a tantrum and cried, and threatened to strangle myself… >.> Poor mother.

12. Do the words ‘freedom’ and ‘liberty’ mean not being persecuted or discriminated against, or do they mean doing whatever you please?
It means both. And freedom is a self-searching type of ideology that comes from within, if you could express this freedom outwardly towards people, you are truly free.
Creativity is the path towards freedom.

13. Have you ever discriminated against someone? Imagine that a street gang notorious for wearing purple shirts has robbed and murdered several hundred people in your town. If a man wearing a purple shirt just rang your doorbell, would you answer it?
Hmm… I doubt I have without reasons. It’s not discrimination, it’s an observation.
Also, I’d put the latch on just in case. Have some sort of self-defense weapon near me incase he saws off the latch.

14. Is it crazier to choose to be poor or to spend 40 years of your life hating 40 hours a week?
What’s with these questions being poor? Is being poor the worst thing you could be in this life? WTF is wrong with you?

15. Do you ever feel like you don’t have enough time? How many hours a week do you spend watching TV, or playing video games, or…?
I waste atleast 2 hours playing this online game called League of legends. About 3 hours at my work playing Backyard Monsters on facebook…
Another 3-5 hours possibly watching youtube videos along with artsy films.
No, I have too much time, I need to move to London right NOW!
“Good things come to those who wait.” I highly doubt it. I’d be a pile of stardust if I waited for this BS life to give me something.

16. Do you ever celebrate the green lights?
Appreciating nature? Sometimes, I like to look at trees and birds when I walk to my office. Grass is super green, brings comfort to my eyes.

17. If you could be given another talent or ability, what would you want it to be? Have you ever – really – tried to perfect this ability in yourself?
I’d want to be able to do martial arts, kick boxing and beat people up. Lol, no… but I think it’d be cool to fight crime though.

18. No matter how bad things get, are you aware that someone always has it worse than you do?
Yes, I am fully aware, but I am not them… I wish I could be an empath and sense everyone as one. Unfortunately, these mind connections are not strong enough sometimes. I’d feel their pain, but I cannot fully grasp their misfortunes as powerful as I feel about my own. So my misfortunes outweighs most people’s because I am not them, fully atleast.


19. When you help someone, do you ever think, “What’s in it for me?”
Lol… yeah, but I’d still help them if they deserve it.

20. Joy is found with simple awareness. What does your joy look like today?
The fact that I never comb my hair and go out, it always looks so fluffy and bouncy in the morning. So refreshing that I wasn’t born with wire hair. Good genes.

21. What’s the difference between ‘living’ and ‘existing?’
Living is easier with eyes closed. Existing only happens when another human sees you… or something that could validate my existence.

22. Are you willing to sacrifice the life of your child or lover to support a war?
No. I’m a lover, not a warlord.

23. Do you ask enough questions, or do you settle for what you know?
I ask questions everyday. If no one can answer it, I do research until I’m satisfied. It’s part of my OCD…

24. If you could do it all over again, would you change anything?
Too much hassle to. @__@

25. If your life was a novel, what would be the title and how would your story end?
Insanity, voyage, discoveries and adventures
The titanic Phoebe drowns the world with her flowers and crystal ships.

The story that never ends.

Jungian Cognitive Functions in Picture set selected by Phoebe Jaspe & Descriptions from Cognitiveprocesses 

Se (Extraverted Sensing):

Extraverted Sensing occurs when we become aware of what is in the physical world in rich detail. We may be drawn to act on what we experience to get an immediate result. We notice relevant facts and occurrences in a sea of data and experiences, learning all the facts we can about the immediate context or area of focus and what goes on in that context. An active seeking of more and more input to get the whole picture may occur until all sources of input have been exhausted or something else captures our attention. Extraverted Sensing is operating when we freely follow exciting physical impulses or instincts as they come up and enjoy the thrill of action in the present moment. A oneness with the physical world and a total absorption may exist as we move, touch, and sense what is around us. The process involves instantly reading cues to see how far we can go in a situation and still get the impact we want or respond to the situation with presence.

Fe (Extraverted Feeling):

The process of extraverted Feeling often involves a desire to connect with (or disconnect from) others and is often evidenced by expressions of warmth (or displeasure) and self-disclosure. The “social graces,” such as being polite, being nice, being friendly, being considerate, and being appropriate, often revolve around the process of extraverted Feeling. Keeping in touch, laughing at jokes when others laugh, and trying to get people to act kindly to each other also involve extraverted Feeling. Using this process, we respond according to expressed or even unexpressed wants and needs of others. We may ask people what they want or need or self-disclose to prompt them to talk more about themselves. This often sparks conversation and lets us know more about them so we can better adjust our behavior to them. Often with this process, we feel pulled to be responsible and take care of others’ feelings, sometimes to the point of not separating our feelings from theirs. We may recognize and adhere to shared values, feelings, and social norms to get along.

Te (Extraverted Thinking):

Contingency planning, scheduling, and quantifying utilize the process of extraverted Thinking. Extraverted Thinking helps us organize our environment and ideas through charts, tables, graphs, flow charts, outlines, and so on. At its most sophisticated, this process is about organizing and monitoring people and things to work efficiently and productively. Empirical thinking is at the core of extraverted Thinking when we challenge someone’s ideas based on the logic of the facts in front of us or lay out reasonable explanations for decisions or conclusions made, often trying to establish order in someone else’s thought process. In written or verbal communication, extraverted Thinking helps us easily follow someone else’s logic, sequence, or organization. It also helps us notice when something is missing, like when someone says he or she is going to talk about four topics and talks about only three. In general, it allows us to compartmentalize many aspects of our lives so we can do what is necessary to accomplish our objectives.

Ni (Introverted Intuition):

Introverted iNtuiting involves synthesizing the seemingly paradoxical or contradictory, which takes understanding to a new level. Using this process, we can have moments when completely new, unimagined realizations come to us. A disengagement from interactions in the room occurs, followed by a sudden “Aha!” or “That’s it!” The sense of the future and the realizations that come from introverted iNtuiting have a sureness and an imperative quality that seem to demand action and help us stay focused on fulfilling our vision or dream of how things will be in the future. Using this process, we might rely on a focal device or symbolic action to predict, enlighten, or transform. We could find ourselves laying out how the future will unfold based on unseen trends and telling signs. This process can involve working out complex concepts or systems of thinking or conceiving of symbolic or novel ways to understand things that are universal. It can lead to creating transcendent experiences or solutions

Fi (Introverted Feeling):

It is often hard to assign words to the values used to make introverted Feeling judgments since they are often associated with images, feeling tones, and gut reactions more than words. As a cognitive process, it often serves as a filter for information that matches what is valued, wanted, or worth believing in. There can be a continual weighing of the situational worth or importance of everything and a patient balancing of the core issues of peace and conflict in life’s situations. We engage in the process of introverted Feeling when a value is compromised and we think, “Sometimes, some things just have to be said.” On the other hand, most of the time this process works “in private” and is expressed through actions. It helps us know when people are being fake or insincere or if they are basically good. It is like having an internal sense of the “essence” of a person or a project and reading fine distinctions among feeling tones.

Ne (Extraverted Intuition):

Extraverted iNtuiting involves noticing hidden meanings and interpreting them, often entertaining a wealth of possible interpretations from just one idea or interpreting what someone’s behavior really means. It also involves seeing things “as if,” with various possible representations of reality. Using this process, we can juggle many different ideas, thoughts, beliefs, and meanings in our mind at once with the possibility that they are all true. This is like weaving themes and threads together. We don’t know the weave until a thought thread appears or is drawn out in the interaction of thoughts, often brought in from other contexts. Thus a strategy or concept often emerges from the here-and-now interactions, not appearing as a whole beforehand. Using this process we can really appreciate brainstorming and trust what emerges, enjoying imaginative play with scenarios and combining possibilities, using a kind of cross-contextual thinking. Extraverted iNtuiting also can involve catalyzing people and extemporaneously shaping situations, spreading an atmosphere of change through emergent leadership.

Ti (Introverted Thinking):

Introverted Thinking often involves finding just the right word to clearly express an idea concisely, crisply, and to the point. Using introverted Thinking is like having an internal sense of the essential qualities of something, noticing the fine distinctions that make it what it is and then naming it. It also involves an internal reasoning process of deriving subcategories of classes and sub-principles of general principles. These can then be used in problem solving, analysis, and refining of a product or an idea. This process is evidenced in behaviors like taking things or ideas apart to figure out how they work. The analysis involves looking at different sides of an issue and seeing where there is inconsistency. In so doing, we search for a “leverage point” that will fix problems with the least amount of effort or damage to the system. We engage in this process when we notice logical inconsistencies between statements and frameworks, using a model to evaluate the likely accuracy of what’s observed.

INTx & ENFP conversation 

• INTx BabyBearcakes: I'm like a bathroom stall door and you're like a venetian door
• ENFP Me: I'm like a dandelion and you're the magical forest mountain tree people.
• INTx Baby Bearcakes: I'm like an oreo and you're like a banquet with dancers and a magician
• Me: I'm a triangle and you're a violin. i'm a rock, you're the ocean.
• INTx Baby Bearcakes: I'm a violin and you're an ochestra
• ENFP Me: I'm a star, you're the whole universe. I'm a chicken burger, you're a salmon salad.
• INTx Baby Bearcakes: I'm stick and you're a forest
• ENFP Me: I'm a mouse, you are the whole internet.
• INTx Baby Bearcakes: I'm evelynn and you're Ahri
• ENFP Me: I'm a kilobyte, you're a yottabyte.
• INTx Baby Bearcakes: I'm a thread and you're a coat
• ENFP Me: I'm a page, you're a library.
• INTx Baby Bearcakes: you're the best
• ENFP Me: you're better than the best.
• INTx Baby Bearcakes: you're the definition of better and best. Best means phoebe, you are the best, the greatest, the cutest and the coolest
• ENFP Me: You're the cutest.
• INTx Baby Bearcakes: Babycats break the scale of cuteness and create their own realm, its unmeasurable, cuteness is infinite, adorableness too.
• ENFP Me: If i'm the cutest in this world, you're the cutest in the infinity worlds, in the 2nd, 3rd, 4th, 5th, 6th, 7th dimension as well.
• INTx Baby Bearcakes: babycats transcend dimensional laws, everything is one and you are the cutest in that one macrodimension.
• ENFP Me: You are cute and adorable in every breadth, width, lenght, height. When you are measured any time, forwards and backwards; in every moment, you still remain static, as in the cutest of all existent/non-existent things. It's like a constant trophy that remains just for you, like the nominee awards but you get one in each mili-human second that is on going, plus the time backwards. It just shoots at you and you give off this victorious cute vibe.
• INTx Baby Bearcakes: You embody what adorable means. You can stop bullets, freeze fire and burn water with your smile. You make music visible and colour auditory. Your laugh makes trees grow and ice flow. Nothing is cuter than you in any plane of existence and nothing ever will be.
• ENFP Me: That's so cute, I love it. Aww. <3
• INTx Baby Bearcakes: I love you
• ENFP Me: I love you too.

Highlighted in pink, the types that I connect with the most. The intuitive rationals, introverted intuitives and the intuitives.

Bored in office.

My R-Drive Personality Test Results

I scored the highest 94% in Intellect.

Intellect trait

likes to read, enjoys complex people, carries the conversation to a higher level, has a vivid imagination, does not find conformity rewarding, can handle complex problems, tends to he a high academic achiever, more interested in intellectual pursuits than anything else, good a making impromptu speeches, full of ideas, hard to intimidate, more likely to be liberal, learning machine, good at coming up with something new, has a need to know how thinks work

88% in Hedonism trait:

more like to be a drinker, more like to be a smoker, more likely to friends with drinkers and/or smokers, addictive tendencies, breaks the rules, goes on binges, impulsive, more likely to be an atheist, enjoys being reckless, very sexual, like being naked, rebels against authority, not a fan of rules, enjoys duping/deceiving people, tends to spend more money then they have, expresses their affection physically, likes losing them-self in things, safety is not particularly important to them, likes to rebel for the sake of rebellion, prone to excess, believes that sometimes vengeance is necessary, does not like to be viewed as proper or conventional, not a team player, more likely to support drug legalization, more likely to cheat in a relationship, more likely to have or want to get a tattoo(s)

83% in Stoicism trait:

calm, hard to upset, relaxed, not prone to anxiety, not hypersensitive, happy, content, can weather rejection, optimistic, patient, can handle people being mad at them, more tolerant than restless, good at suppressing unpleasant thoughts, thinks a good friend is one who challenges them, does not find approval particulary important, modest and peaceful, trusts feelings, confident

I scored the lowest of 16% with Othercentricism:

So that means Opposite of everything below.

puts others first, generous, concerned about others, feels responsible for others feelings, will compassionately take on others needs as their own, sympathetic, finds helping others rewarding, pleasing others makes them happy, tries to please everyone, believes that others needs are as important (if not more so) than their own, passionate, would rather hurt self than others (masochistic), makes people feel welcome, has trouble saying no to people, has a good word for everyone, values the welfare of strangers, nice, warm, loves children, very family oriented, values humanitarian causes, honest, believes that others have good intentions, treats others as they want to be treated, accountable, interested in a career in social work, devoted to those they care about, accommodating, has a great need to improve the world, happy, never too busy to help a friend, deeply moved by the hardships of others, trusting, lives to create beautiful things, team player, dislikes disagreement, family-centric, wants to impress their parents, can’t do without the company of others, reliant on assurances from others, has very strong emotions, loyal to the tradition/values they were raised with, honors promises to others, more likely to be religious, romantic, instinctive

The bold sentences/phrases are things that I could relate to.

Current MBTI: ENTP

But I’m generally an ENFP.

‘Work hard, play hard’ lifestyle. Hahahahahahhaha.

How was your experience being in a romantic relationship with an ESTJ? 

Funny thing you asked about the ESTJ… he’s the first guy I fell in love with in my life. And the longest romantic relationship I had with a person. We had our ups and downs, he was really down to earth, protective and controlling. He was well-liked among his peers and we didn’t understand each other but that mystery was fascinating. Due to his Sensing function and my iNtuition, it was really hard for us to develop… We were both extraverts, but he wasn’t interested in my ‘crazy/twisted’ friends, so I hung out with his friends more than I did with mine. He was really romantic, we used to do little things to prove that we loved each other.

E.g: On valentines day, he would blindfold me and take me up to this rooftop. There was a table with two chairs, and candles were everywhere on the floor and rose petals. There was main course and dessert…

It was just stuff like that… plus he would leave love letters under my pillow and in my locker.

Also, this was when I was sixteen and he was seventeen… so I think older ESTJs would do ‘something’ out in the open for you to see how they feel about you in different ways.

I guess you would feel a strong sense of connection with an ESTJ. He’ll definitely take care of you if he loves you.

In the end, I felt that I was him, we kind of ended up switching personalities when we broke up. This could be proven with my enneagram, my ‘Relating Triad/Instinctive Triad’ is 1w2, which is ESTJ personality, so he definitely had an impact on me. Our love existed on a spiritual plane, something ‘unknown’. He also taught me the ability to love someone and the ability to feel. 

I’m an ENFP. I know this is kind of weird but since it’s 2012 and all, I want to show you all my past exs/current significant other. I will apply MBTI to each person.

The last one is obviously me because that’s the amount of people I’ve had proper relationships with. (8)

From 2006-present:

1) Sergei from Russia (ESFJ- The Caregiver)

2) Casey from San Diego, CA. (ESFP- The Performer)

3) Jhan from Bulgaria (IxTP- The Mechanic/Thinker)

4) Josh from U.K, Huddersfield (ESTJ- The Guardian)

5) Leon from Germany, Frankfurt (ENFJ- The Mentor)

6) Luke from New zealand (ISFx- The Nurturer/ The Artist)

7) Chris from Scotland (ENFP- The Inspirer/ Champion)

8) Dan from Wales/Liverpool (INTP/INTJ - The Thinker/ Scientist) (S.O)

It’s not necessarily I had physical sexual connections with all the people above, but platonic love that I would always remember as they have a place in my heart. Some more than others, but yeah. Sorry for being strange but I’m bored, waiting for my girlfriend to pick me up. This post is just an overview for future reference, in case I forget. I’m a serial monogamist though. :3 

I wrote my feelings down for a significant other (aka jellyfish bear). ENFP feelings for an INTx? Not really sure. :3

Intuitive for life, hard hitting on the psyche.

INTx and ENFPs: The Magnetic Pull 

“I’m in dubio about this. I love INTX in general. But with INTJs I tend to have this smooth, deeper understanding, where you need only half a word to get one another which leads to a deeper appreciation, mutual respect and level of trust that’s unbeatable, whereas with INTPs I tend to have a reactive, volatile but passionate exchange, riddled with explanations and verbal banter that yields incredible insights and eventually leads to a very intense bond. It’s..intoxicating. Both of them are in fact. I don’t wanna choose. Can I keep both?”

I think she just defined every word that I was going to tell my INTP S.O. today. Well, INTPs tend to be hardcore thinkers and reject ‘feelings’. So there’s always that death/sorrowful/melancholic rage look about them. I think it’s adorable. They’re really noble people and never lie. They are super tactless.

That vibe evokes a sense of goodness, innocence and purity towards me… it’s comforting. Normal people like SJs/SPs would think this ‘vibe’ is psychotic or somewhat threatening.

MBTI: INTJs & my ENxP hazed thoughts  

Dear MBTI junkies,

I was just thinking another way of seeing MBTI embedded to humans and creating neo humans. This may not or may offend you since everything is offensive these days. I’m a cultureless/city raised female and it expanded my mind due to adaptation to new countries, new languages, new people, new everything. I felt like they pushed me forward in this, like it’s meant to be. If it didn’t happen, I’d be in the infinity amount of other alternate universes but it just chose this ‘film/life/consciousness’. What makes others more special than you? I’m pretty egalitarian/liberal. Don’t know about the rest of the world but there’s both sides. The creative free spirits and the controlling sadists. Or they are working partners? By creating something, you provide a hellish spark in a dimension. A dimension that can be seen by those who have their eyes open and full of intuitive powers. Anyways, my point is. Why do us extraverts suffer 3/4 of our limited waking life by socialising when we could be like introverts, I guess we are like guinea pigs for the introverts. In a blasphemous way, it would be logical to say INTJs (the scientist) are the best personality if you want to uncover deep layers of ‘truth’. As humans, do we actually need communication? I mean we created languages, just from the idea of ‘who is s/he? Why? What is s/he? Curiousity is genius but as Oscar Wilde said: “Nothing worth knowing is taught.”. Since INTJs tend to experiment due to their curiosities. Therefore, that explains why I’m attracted to INTJs. They go deep into an oblivion; of no sight or sound, but of mind. You’re entering the twilight zone. Disclaimer: It’s an old series of episodes about strange, esoteric, life experiences that can’t be real or unreal. Anyway, as I was saying, INTJs open these the doors of the twilight zone. That’s what I’m interested at, reaching an unknown dimension in the spheres of th universe. This can be related to the pale blue dot. Just imagine right now that the pale blue dot is earth and 7billion people are on it. Now imagine this, the way I see INTJs is that the whole universe that we know, could be an INTJ’s creativity. Like they’re all experiment on each spark of thought, we are truly like stars because when the world ends; to other universes we are stars of their stars. This is in infinity mode. Well, Im not trying to suck up to INTjs, but it’s just from what I observed. Intjs will shine the best as thoughts, now, the external world seems to be overshadowing meaningful internal worlds and secrets. Am I the only one that’s seeing this? Why are NTs so rare compared to SJs? Is it fear? because humans are all born isolated. Why do we work so hard to be accepted when we don’t Accept the fact that we’re on this adventure on our own. That’s where INTJs comes in, everyone’s busy fighting over who’s more popular and well-liked universally. When the INTJs evolve into Neo-Humans. Could it be that i’m the dead spirit? Because we seem to connect with our iNtuition function. ENFP Societies’ eyes: Insane happy creative advocate. ENFP reality: Obsessive adventurer/ I feel like an ENTP at the moment. INTJ societies’ eyes: stoic and unsympathetic. INTJ reality: Feeling everything in the most humane manner as possible. As in, seeing the meanings behind the meanings one step ahead of you. It’s hard to empathise sometimes, but I do weep for humanities’ Dada views of the whole universe. Would destroying everything create something new? Creations are made from chaos.

I’m not sure where I’m going with this but I feel like my head is slowly melting away. I feel like I’ve been awake for days when it’s actually 5 hours. Time is slow when you think a lot. It slowed it down to show me the details. I’m off to bed. Might continue this tomorrow. I’m so scared of this Old fat evil man, he came in, seemed to be my friend’s father. He was expressing his love for me and I told him I have a boyfriend, can you leave me alone? He was standing horrificly. I’m like: looks at phone fuck off, writing this on my blog has encouraged a pedo to hit on me. I was scared, I quickly ran to my friends room. sleep time but I’m awake.

My Neurotic thoughts: Self-repairing & understanding 

I’m going to be one of those people that bitch about their lives on a blog. It is said that if shit didn’t happen, there wouldn’t be poets. Plus, I had four hours of sleep and had to wake up at 9am for this bullshit. I’ll embrace this ‘fuckery’.

So yeah the negative points of staying in AD:

- I can’t go to England midnight tonight. Because there were last minute problems with my visa, with the bank statements. I have to wait another month in this shit country and a ‘new start’ was what I needed. There goes my business class flight and limosine. What a waste. =(

- I miss Fresher’s week. Also, probably one month of my course. 

- Will be the ‘new kid’ when everyone will be settled in by then. (Well in a sense that I’ve missed something, I hate missing things)

- Just in a shitty low morale mood. 

- The fact that I miss a month off my course would suck, I want to feel this creative accomplishment again. :( Need to get back on track, not falling into the abyss of relentless monomania.

- Can’t meet the people I made plans with. Can’t go to cheap nightclubs and get smashed.

- I really cannot tolerate my unemotional parents right now, they keep arguing and I can’t be fucked staying in this household.

Since I am an ENFP type 7w6/3w4 in the enneagram theory, I may become a person with an unhealthy personality for a short period of time:

unbalanced and unhealthy states

irresponsible debauchery
manic hysteria
burnt-out debilitation

When 7/6 stresses, the search for ever-increasing levels of excitement and stimulation seems at first like a way out of the apparent trap of boredom and unease, but it brings only temporary relief. Maybe another kind of fun will help me avoid this increasing sense of hopeless ambivalence. Maybe I should start a new company, or have a great big party! Unbalanced 7/6 tries to find the answer in increasingly grand plans for great, exciting events.

But the ever-growing fear and boredom keep coming back, as excessive stimulation approaches dangerous levels. Without increasing awakeness, this course of exciting overload leads to extreme exhaustion, and a kind of despairing depression that totally incapacitates. At the bottom of the scale of health, 7/6 becomes a worn-out husk, utterly debilitated by drugs, sexual excess, and general overstimulation, and totally incapable of self-care. At every opportunity, every means available is used to provide some escape. Without some kind of external help, such a person may ultimately die of excess.

That kind of explained it, wow. Except the sexual excess part. I just need to get out of this country immediately. It’s just not the vibe I need right now. Plus, I’m not going to commit mass-murder-suicide. But ‘self-damaging’ was in my mind when I was in the car on the way home from the visa agency.

Self damaging would include: excess smoking, drinking, and recreational ‘drugs’. I do this anyway but in a more massive amount because of this fuckery. I can’t take the external world right now, it’s being too violent. I’m ‘totally incapable of self-care’ anymore.

The 3w4 description:

Threes at their WORST are:
Self-centered

• Pretentious
• Vain
• Superficial
• Vindictive
• Overly competitive
• Deceptive
• Defensive
• Opportunistic 

unbalanced and unhealthy states

Unbalanced 3/4 hides loss of self-worth behind a veneer of artificial coolness. If the success-orientation of the three becomes too compulsive, and the fourish introspection gets out of hand, 3/4s lose their genuineness. They become less socially adept, and somewhat manipulative, as their fourish self-dislike leads to a twoish desire to reinforce self-image by “helping” others. The self-deceptive pride that results is hidden behind emotional deadening as three pulls in the worst of nine. Such people can be difficult to like, because of the way they constantly remind themselves and others of their own accomplishments.

In the worst case, 3/4 is capable of atrocities, just like 3/2, except that because of the greater self-examination of the four-wing, such crimes are more likely to be isolated cases. 3/4 can be rather self-destructive as all the normal rules of social conduct are abandoned in an attempt to generate attention of any kind from others. In the deepest psychosis, mass-murder-suicides are possible. 

Some truth in that as well, psychology definitely made me feel better.

Plus the positive points staying in AD would be:

- I get to slack off everything, tan and relax under the sun, stay in my jacuzzi on the 5th floor. Going to the gym as well which is on the 5th floor as well. But I hate not doing anything creative to be honest.

- See my best friend and some friends. Also, a guy I just met 2 weeks ago, guess I could spend more time with him.

- Going to shit drinking parties and be super pretentious.

- Have a photoshoot with Angie as we failed to do so for her portfolio… lookbook style.

- I might be able to attend the Middle East Film Festival in October 2011 at the emirates palace abu dhabi and meet various film directors/producers while getting free food, roses and champagne and be all classy and avant-garde.

- Have more dinners with my parents in hotels, I love gourmet food. <3

- I would have the time to get my shirt back from a friend… 

I’m guessing the positive points weighs out the negative.

Overall, I was just so convinced and excited for Sheffield Hallam University but shit happens. My rant is over, now I feel better than before. =( So sad… I had loads of people to meet as well. Shame. 

P.S: Carl Sagan and his cosmos definitely makes me feel better.

Personal DNA 

I know I’m so obsessed with these tests but I found a new one. It says I scored a trait with ‘Slightly High masculinity’ when most people think I’m feminine. Interesting… D: I knew this anyway, just never saw any tests that say I’m ‘masculine’. This post is just for future reference, a note to self, to see if I’ve changed or progressed.

I am an Advocating Creator

you are an advocating creator.

about you

you are a creator

If you want to be different:

how you relate to others

you are advocating

If you want to be different:

Extroverted intuition (Ne)  

Extroverted intuition

Hello Tumblr!

Haven’t talked to you guys in ages. This post might be meaningless to you all but it’s a future reference.

Just had to make a post about Extroverted intuition (Ne) which is a dominant function in my Jungian Cognitive Functions. I found out there’s ironically a ‘triangle’ symbolising Ne function? Wtf? Isn’t triangles suppose to be ‘mainstream’ now?

I’m also an ENFP with a dominant Ne according to JCF.

MBTI memes:

My JCF results:

Extroverted Intuition (Ne) ||||||||||||||||||||||||| 11.77
Introverted Feeling (Fi) |||||||||||||||||||||||| 11.02
Extroverted Feeling (Fe) ||||||||||||||||||||||| 10.68
Introverted Intuition (Ni) ||||||||||||||||||||| 9.8
Introverted Sensation (Si) ||||||||||||||||||| 8.54
Extroverted Sensation (Se) |||||||||||||||| 7.03
Extroverted Thinking (Te) ||||||||||| 4.55
Introverted Thinking (Ti) ||||||||| 3.99

The Extroverted Intuition (Ne) function is oriented toward generating new possibilities. Ne is all about brainstorming - imagining a variety of possible outcomes and considering them all to be possibly true. Ne is associated with new ideas and innovative breakthroughs.

The Introverted Feeling (Fi) function attempts to find meaning in the world. In this sense, ‘feeling’ doesn’t necessarily mean ‘emotions’ - it refers to the subjective and subtle sense of value within a situation. It is often associated with gut reactions about the fairness or goodness of an interaction. Those with strong Fi usually care less about objective facts and more about what’s fair or right.

The Extroverted Feeling (Fe) function is used when an individual acts in a considerate way to the feelings and beliefs of the people around them. Those with strong Fe can easily empathize with other people and is the most likely to be a ‘people person.’ Those with weak Fe may find themselves offending people unintentionally.

The Introverted Intuition (Ni) function implicitly recognizes that one term can have multiple meanings, and allows the individual to disconnect themselves from the concept of ‘objective truth’. This allows those with strong Ni to ‘rewire’ the connections that form a concept and test it from new and unique angles. This is why the Ni dominant types are often called analysts: they can pull apart an idea and test each individual piece to see how it changes the whole.

The Introverted Sensation (Si) function compares past events with current events. Si is associated with vivid memory recall and a reliance on experiential learning. Those with strong Si often prefer to take a ‘hands on approach’. On the other hand, those with weak Si often do not benefit from interacting in that way.

The Extroverted Sensation (Se) function is associated with a vivid perception of the world, taking into account details that others may miss. Se is about being closely tuned to the world around you, and that usually translates into following ‘gut impulses’ and taking great pleasure in physical action. Those with weak Se may sometimes feel ‘disconnected’ from the world around them.

The Extroverted Thinking (Te) function imposes our own order on the world around us. Te structures the world in logical ways, ranging from the physical world (your desk, your office, etc) to concepts (creating ‘flow charts’ of ideas in your mind.)

The Introverted Thinking (Ti) function is used when an individual analyzes something, breaks it apart, and categorizes and defines its elements. This is the foundation of logical thinking. Ti is crucial in identifying logical inconsistencies and putting together logical arguments. Those with strong Ti usually have an ability to remain objective even when it may bother others.

I found some information From Wikisocion:

Extroverted intuition () is an extroverted, irrational, and static information element. It is also called Ne, I, intuition of possibilities, or black intuition.

is generally associated with the ability to recognize possibilities, create new opportunities and new beginnings, recognize talent and natural propensities in others, reconcile differing perspectives and viewpoints, rapidly generate ideas, and be led by one’s intellectual curiosity and stimulate curiosity in others.

Types that value prefer to try out an opportunity rather than consider all possible ways in which it could not work out. They pick a few options and stick with them, in contrast to introverted intuition () types who pick one option and continue to doubt that option.

They enjoy discussing unusual insights into the nature of the world and crazy out-there ideas, like space elevators. Typical quadra humor juxtaposes seemingly unrelated phenomena.

Having Ne (Extroverted Intuition) as

as a base (1st) function 

“The individual is skilled at generating intellectual interest and curiosity in others and using others’ curiosity to get them to do things.

He/she easily sees parallels between different situations, areas of knowledge or skill, and people, and likes to establish contacts across different fields of knowledge and social groups, which allows him to be part of many things at once. He/she enjoys considering differing viewpoints and perspectives and seeing if they can be reconciled.

He/she enjoys the beginning stages of just about anything - new projects, acquiring new skills, experiencing new people and relationships. Preparing for and launching something new is seen as having greater value than the process of experiencing what one already has and finishing what one has begun. The concept of “finishing” seems foreign to him/her. Instead of taking care to finish things and tie up all loose ends, he/she tends to drop things when he/she can’t handle them any longer or realize that he/she has neglected them for too long (this might be equally related to suggestive introverted sensing).”

That was the most ‘accurate’ analysis I’ve heard about myself so far… New things everyday. (: It comforts me in a way, love it.